Still here...

And still chugging along...

Still eating like I should.

Still excercising like I should.

Still lifting weights like I should.

Still taking days off like I should.

Still enjoying life like I should.

I am feeling good going into the holidays.  With Thanksgiving approaching, I am very excited for that meal.  And since we are not hosting this year - there will be no leftovers to tempt me for days afterwards.  However, I am trying to talk Josh into making a mini-Thanksgiving meal for us, so we can have some of our favorites too.  We'll see...

I work on Black Friday - like I do every year.  Our holiday meal is Chipotle - Yay!!!  It's one of the few places I allow myself to eat these days...  It may not be perfectly Primal - but it's better than many others out there.  I just consider it my 20% and move on.

I am going shopping with my neighbor on Saturday - this is an annual thing for us, and we have so much fun.  We alternate years, one of us drives and the other pays for lunch.  I think we look forward to a nice lunch out more than anything.

Then on Sunday, we will probably go out and cut our tree - like we do every year.

Looking forward to the holidays this year!

D~

I haven't weighed or measured yet...

And I am a little afriad to.

I was so busy around Halloween - I just forgot to do my end of the month stuff.  And here I am, a good third into the next month - telling myself I might as well wait now.

I do feel like I am getting smaller though.  I see pictures of myself, and I feel like I am looking better & fitter - so I think progress is being made.

I went shopping last week to find something to wear for Thanksgiving this year...  I found a dress I really like a lot.  I love how it gives me a nice hourglass shape - eventhough I am wearing jeans under it vs. the tights I plan to wear.  So, that's a bonus.  :)  I am really excited to dress up this year and feel good about myself.

 

 

However, while in the fitting room, I had an experience I've never had before...  I tried on several items and I really liked everything on me.  That has never happened!  I've always gone into fitting rooms, just praying I can get the items on and almost always leaving with tears because nothing looks right.  To go into a fitting room and have the problem of loving everything I tried on - well, I was not expecting that at all.  It's quite strange, and I wasn't sure what to do about it.  So, I did what every person does now-a-days, and I took pictures to let my friends decide.  That was kind of fun. 

 

Now, the next struggle...  What to wear for Christmas?  LOL  I just love being able to dress up and feel good.  This is such a new thing for me.

D~ 

Halloween fun...

Which has nothing to do with my journey to better health...

But it was fun - and something I worked on all week, so I am sharing it. 

I woke up on Monday with a Post-It note on my computer...  My girls know, if they want anything done - this is the best way to make sure I see it.  Sad, I know.

The Post-It had a list of costume requirements...  Allison and her boyfriend had decided to be Mickey and Minnie for Halloween...  Which means...  I needed to get to work.

So, all week long, in the off hours of my work days, I was sewing and creating their costumes.  I guarantee - if they had chosen anything, but Disney - I would not have been as passionate about it. 

But they chose Disney, and I was in my glory!

I started off making Allison's skirt... And she was thrilled with how it turned out! Which, in my life, never happens. Big time score for Mom. Whoohoo!

Then, I came up with a brilliant idea for their shirts...  But there was just no way I could get them done on time if I did them by hand.  So, I did an SOS call on Facebook, and one of my very talented digitizer friends (Heather of froufroubyheathersue.com) did a last minute favor (Thanks Heather) and digitized my idea!  I was soooo excited - because this pulled everything together for me.  Score again!

Since this was a new design, and no one had ever stitched it before - I had to test it before I put it on their shirts...  So this took a lot of time too. 

Aside from that...  I was shopping all week, looking for items to complete Gus' outfit...  It was kind of crazy - but the end result was totally worth it! 

 

The kids were thrilled, and they had a great time. And I got to do some fun Disney sewing! Life is good!

Looking forward to next year - as Allison is cooking up another Disney theme.  <3

D~

The mirror...

I still struggle a lot with how I see myself.

Some days, I look in the mirror and see who I was.

Some days, I look in the mirror and see who I am.

And some days, I look in the mirror and see who I want to be.

I think a lot of people struggle with this...  I am certain I am not alone.

I believe, a person really needs to be able to see all 3 to keep themselves moving in the right direction.

When I see the person I was, sometimes it motivates me and sometimes it makes me feel ashamed.  Even though I am no longer that person - I still remember the hopelessness I felt, and that constant instinct to hide.  I always felt as if I was doomed to live that life forever, trapped in a body that wasn't my own...  I see pictures from that time, and I often wonder how I lived like that?  How and why did I let it happen?  But this motivates me to push harder to achieve my goals, and concentrate on eating what makes me feel healthy and good.

When I see the person I am, I struggle a lot with seeing how far I have come and how far I have left to go.  It's not often I see both at the same time.  I am getting closer and closer every day to an undefined goal, and I am really proud of myself for that! 

When I see the person I want to be, I know that I am not there yet.  But I know I can do it...  I realize that I am strong enough to continue on.  I know this journey has given me so much more than size loss and will continue to do so.

There comes a time, though - when it's not will power or motivation that keeps me going...  It's the fact that I have changed my life so drastically, and the changes I have made are now effortless...   It's not even a matter of this lifestyle being a struggle - it's not.  I really enjoy this, and I enjoy who I've become, the body I have taken back, and the health I've gained.  There is no going back, I can never imagine myself as that person again.

D~

Slowly getting better...

My cough is still hanging in there, but otherwise I am feeling great and more like my normal self.

I plan to go back to my normal work out routine tomorrow.

However, these last 2 weeks of being sick, I've noticed that I am not working out as hard, and I am really seeing some changes.  I have not changed my eating since being sick...  So this makes me wonder if I am working myself too hard?

So, I am going to try a week of M/W/F Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred, with Tu/Th being my heavy lifting days.  Then the following week, I am going to do M/W/F Walk Away the Pounds and Tu/Th as heavy lifting.  I think I will alternate like this for a little while and see how it goes. 

I found a nice progress picture the other day, and my friend Mo was kind enough to let me use it as a "before" picture...  The October 2014 photo I took this morning...  It's fun to see the progress, and the ways I have changed.  To be honest - I see the most change in my face/neck and my arms.  I also see a huge difference in my complexion.  What do you think?

I love seeing my hard work pay off...  but even more - I just don't even think of it as "hard work"...  It's work, yes, but I really don't think I workout that much - I really think of myself as more lazy than anything.  I still see a lot of changes to be made - but again, I love the progress.

I hope you all have a wonderful Sunday - it's beautiful here!

D~

Still sick...

When I said I was sick last week...  I thought, ho-hum, just another cold.  Yet here I am a week later and still sick.

Friday and Saturday were, by far, my worst days...  I fought a fever like crazy both days, and it really took a lot out of me.  It wasn't until my highest fever broke on Friday night, I realized I should have been scared.  I had been passed out for hours... and no memory of that block of time.  I was home alone, and I probably shouldn't have been.

Since then, I have been progressively getting better.  On Monday, Josh insisted I go to the Dr. - who determined I just had a virus...  Sent me home with orders to continue Mucinex and come back in 10 days if I am not better.

The Mucinex is helping, for sure.  But I am still sick.

At least I have most of my voice back.  For a while there, my family thought it was quite funny to make fun of the sick person.  I did not find the humor in that.  At all.

I did go back to working out on Monday...  Real easy like.  I did my Walk Away the Pounds video with out weights, and I was careful not to over do it.

I also did my heavy lifting on Tuesday...  I just took it really slow and easy.

Again, I did my WATP yesterday...  A pushed a little harder than I did on Monday and I did add my weights back in.

I did my heavy lifting again today...  I can still really feel my chest congestion - which is hard when I am working hard.  I breathe so deep and heavy, it's very hard to catch my breath when I am lifting - so I just have to go super slow and I don't do all of my reps in big sets, I break them up a little bit.

Tomorrow, I will do WATP again, and hopefully I will be feeling much better after the weekend off - where, God willing, I can resume my 30 Day Shred on Monday.

I do feel like I am finally making some size progress - it isn't much, but I can see a small change - so I am hoping for some nice results when I weigh and measure at the end of the month.  Maybe being sick hasn't set me back as much as I feared.

I try to take a week off of weight lifting every 6 weeks or so...  So this break was a bit earlier than I would have liked, but in the end, it's about doing what's right for your body at the time.  You can't always schedule sickness or emergencies - so you really have to roll with life and continue to press on.  It's getting back on that horse every time, and just really making it a goal to keep moving, no matter what it is or how small it is.

D~

Sick...

Sigh...

It wasn't in my plans to get sick...  but here I am, sick.

Which means, I did my Walk Away the Pounds 1 mile DVD on Wednesday...  I did nothing yesterday. 

My body says it doesn't want to do anything today either, but my brain says it should.  Even if it's only a few deadlifts.

I know I am running a fever, and it keeps breaking...  Hot then cold, hot then cold...

Sigh.

I guess I will just play it by ear, and see how I feel later...

I tell myself that I must press on, but then I tell myself that I must rest and get better. 

D~